happy b-day 2 me!

so da local time here in d'aygo is 835AM, and i'm jst on a HIGHness right now, b/c i'm officially 30 yrs old, and by the way . . .it's my b-day! can't ya c me glowin' in all my glory & charm upon readin' my blogfest of sorts on your end. . .hehehehe. . .damn, where does the time fly, u know?! i figured i'd b kickn' & screamin' w/ havin' 2 feel like i'm jst spent on reachin' this major milestone in my life, when in all honesty, i'm ecstatic and relieved really. i love this absolute feeling of knowing x actly what i wanna do w/ my life, of who i am inside and out-, & jst feeling so much comfortable with jst being ME, and i wanna make sure ppl around me know that i'm so content 'bout it and of course that it's my 30th b-day. ha! hey, i wanna hear 'em say. . .'oh well then, happy b-day'!

so let's recap, shall we. . .mentally i feel i've gained a sense of who i am and all that entails. kind of like a damn good bottle of wine in which, u've become more refined and jst damn delicious overtime, and that's how i feel 'bout this nxt decade of my life.
physically, i'm 30lbs lighter den wence b4 at da beginning of this yr. i was jst so unhappy on how i allowed myself 2 let go, and i gave so many x cuses on how i came that way -- blamin' others 4 da way i b-came so damn overweight that at da end of da day, i needed 2 remind myself it was all ME, force feeding myself 2 oblivion. . .what i should of been doing was using that negative energy to force all of that badness OUT in order 4 me 2 feel more free of myself. and i'm so glad i finally came 2 grips w/ that real quick, b/c if hadn't. . .i'd b still stuck in a size 10/12. . .and married! lol (comedy, i tell ya)

so on today's hitlist of items 2 kill, it's gonna b sumthin' like dis. . .a day spent at work, doin' absolutely NADA. . .lol. . .nah, i got stuff, but it's not gonna b in da active workplate, if ya catch my drift. hahahaha. . .
i meet up w/ property manager, anna, 2 have final walkthru on potential pad & cutesy cottage -- i'm tryin' my damndest 2 b OK w/ it all even though she try and pull a fast 1 on me in terms of deposit amt. . .$50 more, aye?! i 8n't trippn jst yet! lol
and i move my shat from psychotic roomie in2 dis pad, so at least my shat 8n't stuck der n-e longer.

after movin' . . .i want 2 spnd a raunchy eve w/ dude over whacky s3x, sum good sushi & hot sake. enuff w/ da damn beers J. . .lol (fo' reos)

vegas babee!

so this past laborday weekend was the highlight of the month, more so of than ever. met up w/ sum of my childhood bffs for a getaway trip out 2 vegas, nv in celebration of our being fabulous women and enterin' our 30's with delight and anticipation. it was a glorious weekend full of fun, heated debates, etc. . .what a weekend w/ women is suppose 2 b 'bout, and i'm so glad we finally made it happen -- definitely, 'bout damn time in fact.

we stayed in a posh timeshare that was borrowed from one of my bff's gfriend at work, only charged us 4 da entire wk'nd $200 bucks which no matter how u cut it, is still a very sweet deal when cruisn' vegas-style.
i decided 2 never-ever drive n-e mor' out 2 sincity due 2 lessons learned from the past, so i flew out, touchdwn by 1PM, had 1 of my homies pick me up from the airport. it was nice, hangin' out -- had sum grub and watched sum "wildboys on mtv" 2 hold me over till da rest of my entourage arrived later that day.
got settl'd finally in2 da suite, bought sum brew & mo' grub and l8r in da eve, play'd sum texas hold 'em w/ sum locals from around da way & jst u no wat, dey jst so happen'd 2 b from samoa as well . . . small world, i tell ya!!!
nxt day was spnt sleepin' in. . .havin' a restful, relaxn', vry chill'n day spent INside (no doubt) -- 2 HOT as fuc'd 2 evn wonder da cross-streets, a whole lot of bullshattn'. . .got a call from our local resident bff invitin' us 2 a b-day bash, evn got da same invite from da partyplanner, himself so it was all G -- always down 4 n e thin' really.
l8r we got doll'd up 2 go hang out 4 sum mo' drinkn' -- ended up at a local joint call'd aloha bar (a whole in da wall) karaoke slash billiards in which college aged and perhaps sum wanna-B socialites and a few hamos/polys seem'd 2 flock.
stay'd up wid a homie from samoa till da wee hours of da morn jst bullshattn' & drinkn' (da rest of my posse turned in 4 da nite). . .then finally hit da sack at 8AM -- had a good of 4-5hrs of sleep action. . .i could get use 2 dat.
went out 4 sum grubbn' at sahara den play'd da nickel machine & a big spin fortune, blew off $10 bucks only. lol hey, wat can i say -- i'm a wuss!

overall, my time & energy spent there was more of a refresher course on how i try and live life everyday now. however, by day 2 i was needing a jolt of reality that sumtimes, a getaway trip isn't key when u don't have the ppl that matter most 2 u 2 enjoy the goodness -- so yes, shai-styles & steel (my boys) -- there's a time and place 4 'em, and bringin' 'em out 2 vegas wasn't a item on the agenda, at least not like a trip w/ the homegirlys, so instead i'm thinkin' of legoland or seaworld central 2 make myself less guilty 'bout it all.

my feelings 4 vegas itself is like gettin' a bikini wax -- it's necessary 2 have frequent visits, but it can b damn painful in the process. so even though i get a lil' x cited 4 a trip 2 vegas, a few days spent in sin city makes me miss e'vrything else so i 4get da whole purpose of my trip 2 begin w/. i prefer 2 hang low either in or nearby cities of san diego. it's not as overrated.

toodles, j

i'm DUNzo!

alright, i'm not real sure how to begin tis blog since so much has happened in these last few months that even i can't fathom how twist'd it has all been, but so far on what i feel the need 2 share is that, i'm much more happy now and it's completely evident but at the same time i feel as a part of me has gone awry. here's the brkdown 2 my personal debacle. . .u sure u want in???

+++moms spent a good six weeks being my personal shrink, friend, and sitter and i jst love this woman w/ such a passion that i miss her so terribly!

+++filed for divorce a day b4 my 7th wedding anniversary w/ barr. that was three months ago n still no mediation or court date set. all of this jst stings, but i'm takin' the hits and feelin' so numb w/ it.

+++i officially moved out two wks ago, but got a pad of my own 20 mins from our townhome, so it's a whole lot convienient on commute for work and less awkward for barr and i 2 have our lil' run-ins. also, i'll b able 2 save on $$$ for the anticipated move. . .

+++spkin' of move, i've decided 2 pack up and permanently move back home 2 samoa. i'm on a 5-7 yr plan of making something happen for myself and the boys, and the goals i have mapped 4 the timeline is a priority and not in the backburner still brewing w/ time. it's gonna happen. . .all of it, and i'm so x-cited! can't ya c me glee w/ delight?! lol

+++turning 30 come nxt wk, wed (sept. 5th) and it will b an awesome awakening for me personally and i am so looking forward to it. this weekend i'll b joining sum bffs on a getaway trip 2 vegas, so thats a b-day wish come true in all aspects. gonna keep it classy and mellow for the most part, i'm totally diggn' this new high i'm ON!

+++lost a total of 25lbs of absolute f.a.t and eatin' quite HEALTHY -- got this tat a decade ago that reminds 2 do jst that on how i live my life. it's a tripp i tell ya. . .


so that's on the agenda for the moment. . .tune in a few months from now when hopefully, i'll have the finale for my divorce and may b a parttime gig 2 help me w/ the move expenses.

peaches & cream, j

yiPPEE for summer!

so i know it's been months since i last updat'd tis blog & i honestly do feel bad not keepin' my end of the deal -- so much has happen'd in both my tv world & life in general that i can hardly keep still in my seat.
+ church is still an existin' part in my life, in which i am eternally greatful to have.
+barr & i continue to live seperate lives, yet we are livin' bedroom apart, ever heard of a "non-divorce"?!
+shai-styles loathes havin' 2 do homework -- he may have to join summer readin', won't be too thrill'd 'bout that.
+steel battles potty trng. & it's been a handful of hits/misses, but overall he's learnin' to like dungeries?!
+lost 21 lbs and gained back 8 lbs, won $500 on a 'biggest loser' bet amongst my peers at work.
+work continues to be a sore spot, i'm in my 5th yr of bein' on the 'No help desk', so tryin' to reevaluate my potential at this point.

tv-mania:
+greys' ended w/ a whacky finale -- burke is OUT (fired) and i'm thinkin' it's b/c of the 'fa****' debacle. [poor guy can't get a lucky brk at all in hollywood!]
+sopranos' series ended in an abrupt blackout in the final minutes, has all of us in shock. no tidy endin' 4 the mob-show, but i personally like to think tony & co. liv'd to see another day, but others feel that he got shot. either way, it was rivetin' tv for the last six seasons.

fyi, i sign'd up for medifast in order for me to lose 30lbs + and keep it off. below will be my tracker for the duration. let's get physical, shall we?!

reading my scriptures!

so i finally decided to take my bubble -butt and boys to church this past sunday. somehow, i was pondering on what i should do for the day, and i figured that a sunday spent at home watching endless tv wasn't the answer. nor was it constructive on a sabbath for my boys, so i dress'd the kiddos and quickly threw on an outfit that i knew was the only thing in my closet worthy of wearing since it fit -- mental note: run, run, run! so i get there to the meetinghouse, and of course i'm late -- just in time for partakin' of the sacrament. i knew in my heart that it had been so long since i've renewed my covenants w/ my savior,but i took it anyway, and you know what --i felt good afterwards.
i took shai-styles to primary, and took steel to nursery. i met a new friend in nursery, and so did lil' steel. how wonderful it is to find another gal that attended byuh -- such a small world, i tell ya. in any case, we chatt'd endlessly. . .then i left for relief society. wonderful lesson on true conversion and seein' how it was fast & testimony sunday, how appropriate was it to be a part of all that and more.
so of course, i didn't bear my testimony, but i did feel the need to begin reading my scriptures, especially the BOM (book of mormon). so that is my goal for this month of feb is to read or in my case, i purchased the BOM on CD (audio-version), so if i'm at work or in my work, i can put on a CD and visualize the words as it's being spoken.