for lil' over a year, i've allowed this man, named paul anthony hayes, to enter in my life and be a part of my inner circle. i'll admit, that it's been a helluva emotional rollercoaster ride 2 say the least, and i'm beginning 2 realize that being in a exclusive & commited relationship shouldn't b 'bout dramatics, however, it's been our story after the 3-month timetracker had counted down.
i am fully aware that i may have been blindsided 2 allowing myself knee-deep w/ the notion of love and that getting involved so quick and soon may have resulted 2 why i am feeling so inadequate and lost w/ my emotions thus far.
paul and i have shared many intimate moments, and that we have a deep connection 4 one another. however, it seems that we can no longer be on a page that calls for mutual trust and respect. and what saddens me that despite our commitment and the undenying love we have 4 eachother, it seems that it may not b enuff 2 salvage our relationship. my hope is that someday we can look past our flaws, and find some common ground that would be incredible than the two of us combined, & become potentially, friends w/o the attached "benefits" factor.
i wish you well, my dearest paul, and that if we happen 2 cross paths in some form or fashion either here in san diego, ca or may be out in samoa (god willing), than may be it's a sign that our souls were destined 4 an absolute greater power, that may direct us 2 what we ultimately need 2 do allow ourselves 4 closure. take care of thy self and know that you will have a special place in my heart, indefinitely.
forever yours. . .julia
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